Interesting Sh*t

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AL East preview

Gentleman Jim: Ok gentlemen.
Gentleman Jim: AL East.
Shaun Parent: Yeeeesh.
Coryhouser: I'm going to say this outright
Coryhouser: Not the Yankees
Shaun Parent: I hate all these motherf*ckers.
Shaun Parent: Let's eliminate.
Coryhouser: Orioles, no
Shaun Parent: Right.
Gentleman Jim: Blue Jays, no.
Coryhouser: Blue Jays? No
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: I don't count out the Blue Jays, really.
Gentleman Jim: I do.
Coryhouser: Because they have Rolen?
Coryhouser: *ducks*
Shaun Parent: rofl
Shaun Parent: No.
Shaun Parent: I'm not saying they're in a tight race.
Shaun Parent: But will be 3rd in the division this year.
Shaun Parent: And better than the Yankees.
Gentleman Jim: No way.
Shaun Parent: Way.
Gentleman Jim: I'll bet anything in the world.
Shaun Parent: Bet me your brown cherry.
Shaun Parent: The Rays? I don't think they repeat.
Shaun Parent: I hate to say it, but I'll go with Boston.
Shaun Parent: ...
Shaun Parent: Is this thing on?
Gentleman Jim: One of my roommates was a fan of two teams.
Shaun Parent: Flip-flopper.
Gentleman Jim: He claimed to be a Cubs fan and a Yankees fan.
Gentleman Jim: Now, I don't mind having a team in each league, as long as you know which one you like bestest.
Gentleman Jim: But there just seems to be something morally wrong with liking those two both.
Shaun Parent: Oh there is.
Shaun Parent: And you should've drowned him and buried him in the park.
Gentleman Jim: I think it goes Yanks, Sox, Rays
Coryhouser: The order?
Gentleman Jim: yeah
Shaun Parent: Yanks gonna choke again.
Coryhouser: So you're picking the Yankees?
Gentleman Jim: no
Gentleman Jim: lol
Coryhouser: Alllllllllright
Gentleman Jim: I hate them too much to pick them.
Gentleman Jim: I'd rather be wrong and pick someone else than pick them and be right
Coryhouser: ow
Gentleman Jim: Boston.
Coryhouser: Ooooookay
Coryhouser: Well, I'm picking the Rays
Coryhouser: They're hungry
Shaun Parent: Hungry for casserole?
Gentleman Jim: They're something
Coryhouser: Want to avenge themselves for the disappointing series against the Phillies fuck you
Coryhouser: I say they repeat

NL East preview

Gentleman Jim: NL East
Shaun Parent: I pick the Mets.
Gentleman Jim: Can we write off the Nats and the Marlins?
Shaun Parent: Nats yes.
Shaun Parent: Marlins?
Coryhouser: Marlins ehhhhhhhhhhhh
Shaun Parent: Well...
Coryhouser: Probably
Shaun Parent: I say no
Gentleman Jim: What do they have?
Shaun Parent: I say there's going to be a fierce battle between them and the Phillies for the 2nd horse in that division.
Gentleman Jim: You think they're better than the Braves?
Shaun Parent: They can be.
Gentleman Jim: Interesting.
Shaun Parent: Honestly, even with tonight's win, the Braves don't seem that scary to me.
Gentleman Jim: I kinda like the Braves offense, but not as much as the Mets or the Phils
Coryhouser: Agreed
Shaun Parent: The Mets will finally break the September curse this year and win the division.
Gentleman Jim: I think the Phils are gonna regret letting Pat Burrell go.
Coryhouser: Yeah, bad idea
Shaun Parent: Who'd they replace him with?
Gentleman Jim: Raul Ibanez
Gentleman Jim: Good young guy
Shaun Parent: Yeeeeeeeeeeah.
Shaun Parent: We'll find out.
Gentleman Jim: Ibanez was solid last year in Seattle.
Shaun Parent: Not hard to be the standout in Seattle when your teammates are sh*t.
Coryhouser: Minus Ichiro
Coryhouser: J.J. was good for them
Gentleman Jim: I want to take the Phils but I just can't
Coryhouser: Ibanez is batting 6th for them
Gentleman Jim: Ok.
Shaun Parent: I'm not impressed.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah, ok I regretfully take the Mets.
Shaun Parent: And Cory?
Coryhouser: You took the Mets, Shaun?
Shaun Parent: Yessir.
Coryhouser: As much as I hate the Phillies, I'm going to take them
Gentleman Jim: Oh ok
Coryhouser: ?
Gentleman Jim: I wanted to, but I just couldn't do it
Shaun Parent: Good man.
Coryhouser: J.J.'s washed up
Coryhouser: K-Rod always seemed to give up at least a hit or a walk when he would close with the Angles
Coryhouser: *Angels
Coryhouser: It's a good one-two punch
Coryhouser: If J.J. pitches in the 8th and K-Rod in the 9th
Gentleman Jim: yeah they'll be ok
Coryhouser: Eh
Gentleman Jim: Any other East comments?
Coryhouser: Nats suck
Coryhouser: move on
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: rofl
Gentleman Jim: lol
Shaun Parent: Yeah

NL Central preview

Gentleman Jim: um NL Central?
Shaun Parent: Cubs.
Gentleman Jim: Cubs.
Gentleman Jim: It's really just between Brewers, Cubs and Cards.
Shaun Parent: Yeah
Shaun Parent: When your team loses to a community college in Spring Training, that's never a good sign.
Gentleman Jim: lol
Gentleman Jim: Yeah
Shaun Parent: I'm looking at you, Pittsburgh.
Shaun Parent: I mean seriously.
Gentleman Jim: Cory's quiet because he's trying to talk himself into his Cardinals.
Shaun Parent: I know colleges play MLB teams once in a blue moon.
Shaun Parent: But COMMUNITY COLLEGES?
Shaun Parent: AND LOSING?
Shaun Parent: The Astros have no shot
Gentleman Jim: Just not enough of anything there.
Shaun Parent: And I pity anyone who plays for the Reds.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah, but they've got some good young talent.
Coryhouser: No, I'm waiting for you guys to dry your cum off your overrated Cubs
Shaun Parent: The Reds and the Pirates are going to have a good old-fashioned suck-off.
Gentleman Jim: Hey come on now.
Gentleman Jim: PG-13
Coryhouser: I agree with Shaun on that
Gentleman Jim: Yeah, its not gonna be pretty.
Shaun Parent: Cory's just pissed that Albert Pujols has yet to grace the cover of Manhole Weekly.
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: lol
Coryhouser: Shaun's issue with D. Lee in it is all wite-out now
Coryhouser: *cough*
Coryhouser: Well then
Gentleman Jim: Um what?
Shaun Parent: Wite-out?
Coryhouser: ........
Coryhouser: You guys seriously can't be that dense
Gentleman Jim: I just don't understand that sentence you just wrote.
Coryhouser: "Wite-out"
Coryhouser: The product
Coryhouser: Get it
Coryhouser: White liquid
Gentleman Jim: Struggle
Coryhouser: All over the page
Shaun Parent: Not only are Cardinals fans not funny, they have grammar skills a Special Olympics softball player would admire.
Gentleman Jim: lol
Coryhouser: WITE-OUT IS A PRODUCT YOU FAT PIG
Shaun Parent: HEY GO FUCK YOURSELF
Coryhouser: GO TO KFC AND ORDER ALL OF THEIR LEGS YOU PIECE OF SHIT
Gentleman Jim: Gentlemen.
Coryhouser: lmao
Shaun Parent: I WILL FUCK YOU.
Coryhouser: roflmao
Shaun Parent: ...UP.
Coryhouser: Okay fine
Coryhouser: Back on topic
Coryhouser: I can see the Cubs winning 100 games this season
Gentleman Jim: What do we think about the Brewers
Coryhouser: They are hungry
Coryhouser: CAN I TALK
Shaun Parent: I think the Brewers are my pick for the Wild Card.
Coryhouser: god
Gentleman Jim: Really?
Gentleman Jim: I'm not sure they have enough pitching.
Shaun Parent: Well yeah, that's the killer.
Shaun Parent: But the offense on that team gives me a hard on.
Shaun Parent: I'm not even kidding.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah gonna be a lot of 9-8 games.
Shaun Parent: Watching Prince Fielder devour a cheesy beef burrito as he rounds the bases.
Gentleman Jim: No he can't.
Gentleman Jim: He's a vegetarian now.
Shaun Parent: WHAT?!
Gentleman Jim: Swear to God
Shaun Parent: Then f*ck him. Brewers lose the Wild Card.
Coryhouser: Yeah, he can stand to lose a few 15 pounds now
Coryhouser: So maybe he won't be out of breath by the time he reaches 1st base on a ground ball
Shaun Parent: rofl
Coryhouser: LEG IT OUT PRINCE
Coryhouser: LEG IT OUT
Coryhouser: AH F*CK IT
Coryhouser: Just, jog
Coryhouser: yeah there ya go
Coryhouser: good boy
Shaun Parent: See, Cory. Only Mo Vaughn could hit a line drive down the first base line and get thrown out.
Coryhouser: lol
Coryhouser: Yes
Coryhouser: Uhh
Coryhouser: The Wild Card, I think
Coryhouser: Is going to be who finishes second in the NL Central again
Coryhouser: Definitely not 2nd in the NL West
Gentleman Jim: hmmm
Coryhouser: That's for damn sure
Shaun Parent: Yeah.
Coryhouser: Maybe the Mets/Phillies
Coryhouser: But with how the Braves played today
Gentleman Jim: Yeah
Coryhouser: I dunno
Coryhouser: They might be in the mix too
Coryhouser: And again
Coryhouser: The Astros
Gentleman Jim: NO
Coryhouser: "Hi, we'll suck the first 100 games"
Shaun Parent: rofl
Coryhouser: "But then actually START playing the last 62"
Coryhouser: It's happened the last 5 years now
Coryhouser: well 4
Coryhouser: 2004, 05, 06, 07, and in 08 too
Coryhouser: Somehow got 3rd
Gentleman Jim: Cory, pitch the case for the Cardinals.
Shaun Parent: This is where I'll file my fingernails.
Coryhouser: Even though I'm awarding third place to the Cardinals because the Astros didn't get to play one last game
Coryhouser: Pansies
Coryhouser: Uhh
Coryhouser: Well Shaun just listen
Gentleman Jim: The floor is yours.
Coryhouser: As most of you have read from my blog
Coryhouser: *Cough*
Shaun Parent: Sucks.
Coryhouser: What it's going to boil down to
Coryhouser: Is really 3 things:
Coryhouser: 1) Can Schumaker play 2nd base, or were we screwed from the beginning by not going after a second baseman?
Coryhouser: 2) Can our middle relief/closers not blow 32 saves, and umpteen more games this season when we have a decent sized lead?
Coryhouser: And 3)
Coryhouser: Can Pujols and Carpenter stay healthy enough this season to contribute their usual big numbers?
Coryhouser: If the answer to all 3 of those questions is yes
Coryhouser: I'd say the Cardinals have the Wild Card locked, and MIGHT
Coryhouser: MIGHT
Coryhouser: MIGHT
Coryhouser: Might contend for the Central title
Shaun Parent: See, I picked Carpenter up in my Fantasy Baseball draft.
Shaun Parent: So that jerk needs to do something.
Coryhouser: Thoughts, guys?
Coryhouser: Does that sum it up pretty well?
Gentleman Jim: Sure.
Shaun Parent: Sucks.
Coryhouser: Whatever
Shaun Parent: rofl
Gentleman Jim: I really want to start the Chris Carpenter argument again.
Coryhouser: Don't
Shaun Parent: Uh oh.
*** Coryhouser has left the chat.
Shaun Parent: oh wtf
Gentleman Jim: And there he goes.
*** Coryhouser has joined the chat.
Coryhouser: fafafafafafafafa
Shaun Parent: He got lagged.
Gentleman Jim: Or his casserole is done.
Shaun Parent: rofl
Gentleman Jim: Ok the Cardinals.
Gentleman Jim: I think its gonna hurt you not keeping Aaron Miles
Shaun Parent: Who is now a Cub.
Gentleman Jim: Inconsequential.
Gentleman Jim: But still.
Gentleman Jim: And I don't know about your bullpen.
Coryhouser: Ok
Shaun Parent: Who's the closer now?
Coryhouser: Motte
Gentleman Jim: Motte
Coryhouser: Jason Motte
Coryhouser: Almost unhittable Pre-season
Shaun Parent: Isringhausen got the boot, right?
Coryhouser: I think it's a good choice
Coryhouser: Yes
Coryhouser: He's with
Coryhouser: The
Coryhouser: Uhh
Shaun Parent: He's pitching for...?
Gentleman Jim: preseason means nothing
Coryhouser: .....
Shaun Parent: Blue Jays?
Gentleman Jim: Blue Jays
Gentleman Jim: (I'm guessing)
Shaun Parent: Yeah, have fun in Canada.
Coryhouser: Whatever Jim
Shaun Parent: Where they don't give two sh*ts about baseball.
Gentleman Jim: Presseason doesn't mean much.
Coryhouser: Whatever you say
Gentleman Jim: Ok then.
Coryhouser: Why have it then
Coryhouser: If it doesn't mean anything
Coryhouser: Why not have them jerk around at their own stadium
Gentleman Jim: It's warmup.
Coryhouser: Uh huh
Shaun Parent: Why have NFL, NHL, NBA preseason?
Gentleman Jim: It's nothing real.
Shaun Parent: SKO
Coryhouser: Alright then
Coryhouser: I'm not going to get into this
Gentleman Jim: Fine, another day.
Shaun Parent: Indeed.

AL Central preview

Gentleman Jim: AL Central.
Coryhouser: AL Central, Shaun?
Shaun Parent: Uh.
Shaun Parent: Well, the Twins aren't starting off the season well.
Shaun Parent: Two big guys hurt.
Shaun Parent: Mauer and Morneau.
Shaun Parent: That's HUGE. Especially at the start of the season.
Shaun Parent: The Twins can ill-afford these guys to be out for a chunk of time.
Gentleman Jim: And Scott Baker too.
Shaun Parent: Whereas the White Sox have lost a bit on their end, too.
Shaun Parent: However, the one team who made the epic snag this offseason?
Shaun Parent: The Indians.
Gentleman Jim: Mark DeRosa?
Shaun Parent: Mark DeRosa is going to be money for these guys.
Gentleman Jim: Oh, you were serious.
Shaun Parent: Absolutely.
Gentleman Jim: I fuckin hate Mark DeRosa.
Shaun Parent: You know what DeRosa can do.
Gentleman Jim: Suck.
Shaun Parent: Now wait a minute.
Coryhouser: lmao
Shaun Parent: You'd pick Miles over DeRosa?
Coryhouser: Duh
Coryhouser: Miles bats a consistent .300
Coryhouser: And is a good glove
Gentleman Jim: I'd pick Fontenot over DeRosa
Shaun Parent: Really?
Gentleman Jim: Youth and upside.
Gentleman Jim: I like Fontenot.
Shaun Parent: As do I.
Shaun Parent: But I liked DeRosa, too.
Gentleman Jim: I really never liked DeRosa.
Shaun Parent: A dumb move by the Cubs for trading him.
Gentleman Jim: Who did we get back?
Shaun Parent: Pitchers.
Gentleman Jim: Bleh
Shaun Parent: And the Royals?
Shaun Parent: Don't make me laugh.
Gentleman Jim: You know what?
Gentleman Jim: I think the Royals are gonna be frisky this year.
Coryhouser: As do I
Gentleman Jim: Good pitching staff
Coryhouser: And
Coryhouser: And
Coryhouser: Coco Crisp
Coryhouser: The best name EVER
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: Milton Bradley?
Coryhouser: dork
Gentleman Jim: I like Dick Ankiel better.
Shaun Parent: C'mon, dude's named for BOARD GAMES.
Coryhouser: SHUT UP
Gentleman Jim: Did you ever see that Shaun?
Shaun Parent: I don't think I have.
Gentleman Jim: Mr. Ankiel is reportedly thinking about changing his name from Rick to Dick.
Shaun Parent: He's the man.
Gentleman Jim: Creating the best porn name in baseball.
Shaun Parent: Let him do it.
Gentleman Jim: Here's the Royals real quick.
Shaun Parent: What, is he going to be in Big Bat Bonanza #7 with Lexington Steele?
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: lol
Gentleman Jim: The Royals
Gentleman Jim: Greinke, Meche, Juan Cruz (former Cub), Horacio Ramirez
Gentleman Jim: Joakim Soria, really good last year
Shaun Parent: Sh*t, sh*t, sucks and sh*t.
Gentleman Jim: Greinke?
Shaun Parent: Not impressed.
Shaun Parent: Put him over all you want, not impressed.
Coryhouser: Don't forget they picked up a big ace from the Cardinals:
Coryhouser: Sidney Ponson
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: OH MAN LOOKOUT
Coryhouser: Yep
Coryhouser: Look out everyone
Coryhouser: Here come the Roy.....als.....
Gentleman Jim: Not on the team anymore
Coryhouser: What???
Gentleman Jim: He's not on the Royals.
Coryhouser: Ah
Coryhouser: That must have happened lately
Coryhouser: Never mind then
Gentleman Jim: I'm just saying they got a lot of young talent, and some veterans
Coryhouser: Yes
Gentleman Jim: Um, Tigers?
Coryhouser: Noop
Shaun Parent: Sucks.
Coryhouser: Had their chance, blew it
Shaun Parent: What's up with Dontrelle Willis?
Gentleman Jim: Anxiety attacks.
Shaun Parent: Lies.
Gentleman Jim: Really.
Gentleman Jim: He went on the DL with anxiety issues.
Shaun Parent: Other than the anxiety on putting on a Tigers uniform, that's all I'm going to give him credit for.
Shaun Parent: Otherwise, man the f*ck up and throw some heat.
Gentleman Jim: There are rumors of Miguel Cabrera getting traded.
Shaun Parent: To who?
Coryhouser: uh huh
Gentleman Jim: Right now, the rumor is if they suck early, he could go to the Red Sox
Coryhouser: Great
Shaun Parent: Do they REALLY need him?
Shaun Parent: I mean, seriously.
Coryhouser: No, they don't
Gentleman Jim: Would you rather have him or Mike Lowell?
Shaun Parent: Lowell has a mustache I would lick soup out of.
Gentleman Jim: If they got him, Youk would go to 3rd, and Lowell would go to the bench.
Shaun Parent: That's a man's mustache there.
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: Um, White Sux?
Coryhouser: I heard that Lowells' mustache is playing short stop
Shaun Parent: rofl
Shaun Parent: White Sox? No.
Coryhouser: Their average age on that team is 62
Coryhouser: Jesus
Shaun Parent: AARP is buying ad space in center field.
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: lol
Coryhouser: Which really boils it down to two:
Coryhouser: The Indians and the Twinnies
Shaun Parent: I take the Indians.
Gentleman Jim: Twins.
Coryhouser: Twins here
Gentleman Jim: I don't know why.