BREAKING: Manny Ramirez suspended 50 games

ESPN is reporting right now that Los Angeles Dodgers star Manny Ramirez has been suspended for 50 games by Major League Baseball for a positive test for a performance-enhancing substance.

Stay tuned here to the Daily Balk for further information.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

A post during "Advanced Reporting" class. Couldn't be more fitting.

Well, I figured since I have absolutely nothing to do in this class, I'd post my first blog for "The Daily Balk."

To be honest, folks, after Motte blew our lead in the 9th inning on Opening Day, I seriously said to myself, "Hoooooo boy. Here we go again." I had wore my St. Louis Cardinals hat, tie, and even my white Reebok shoes with the logo embroidered on the side to work that day. Grr.

But since then, our starting pitching has a combined ERA (I believe) of less than 3. It has just been our relief that has been bonkers.

I was going to post today and say that Pujols really hasn't found his stride, but then he goes and hits 3 for 4 with a pair of homers and 3 RBIs to raise his average to .347 and leaving him 2 RBIs shy of 1,000 for his career. Most Ribbies and most Homers in the National League so far. Paging Ryan Howard...

MOST SURPRISING TEAMS:

By far the Florida Marlins top my list. Their pitching staff consists of nobody with more than 6 years experience in the majors (Most have only 3 or 4 years experience). They have Dan Ugly, Handy Ramirez, Jorge Cantu, and Jeremy Hermida (the four names that I recognize on their roster).  Though they did just lose a 3-game sweep to the Pirates, their opponents so far have been: 3 games against the Nats (Sweep), Won 2 out of 3 against the Mets, Swept the Braves, Swept the Nats again, and now have lost to the Pirates. They haven't really played any big teams yet, so we'll see how they hold up against the Phillies and the Cubs (Who they play at the end of the month).

Also joining that list are the Mariners, Blue Jays, and the Padres, though the Mars and the Pads have trailed off (both 9 - 6 now, but started better than anyone originally thought). I'm happy for the Mariners. Ken Griffey, Jr. is a guy you can't really root against. Great guy, has always been consistent, and a future hall-0f-famer. 

And what the hell...the ROYALS??

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENTS

The Rays. Son of a bitch. They were my pick for the AL East. Sitting at 6 - 9, they're looking towards the top of the standings right now. (Just an editorial note: Yes, I know we're only 15, 16 games into the season, so please, no comments :-D) Indians and the Twins have been big let downs so far. Cubs, too. Zambrano just lost today against the Reds. I really want to go on and on in this section about how happy I am, but I won't. You're welcome, Jim and Shaun.

Angels need to step it up. They took 2 out of 3 against Boston, then lost 5 out of 6 against the Mariners and the Twins (salvaged a win against the Mariners). Next three series for them: At home against the Mariners, two game set in Baltimore, then they make their first trip to the new Yankee Stadium for a 4 game set there.

Well, I'll end this shorter-than-I-would-like post with some Cardinals stuff.

We had the lead in the last two games against the Cubs, but we couldn't hold onto it. Our bullpen really needs to step it the hell up if we want to give the Cubbies a run for their money. Ankiel finally stepped it up today, hitting his first homer and getting a couple RBIs to his credit, lifting his batting average to .227 or so. Ludwick is also proving that last year wasn't a fluke. He has the 2nd most RBIs and Home Runs next to Pujols, and he's batting over .333! But like I said, bullpen needs to pull their heads out of their asses if they want to give the Cardinals a shot to win the Central. And with Carpenter injured and out until maybe/probably June, our starting pitching really needs to step up, too. (How did I know this was coming????????)

I'll post later, folks. So take care until then.

-Cory

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Interesting Sh*t

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

AL East preview

Gentleman Jim: Ok gentlemen.
Gentleman Jim: AL East.
Shaun Parent: Yeeeesh.
Coryhouser: I'm going to say this outright
Coryhouser: Not the Yankees
Shaun Parent: I hate all these motherf*ckers.
Shaun Parent: Let's eliminate.
Coryhouser: Orioles, no
Shaun Parent: Right.
Gentleman Jim: Blue Jays, no.
Coryhouser: Blue Jays? No
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: I don't count out the Blue Jays, really.
Gentleman Jim: I do.
Coryhouser: Because they have Rolen?
Coryhouser: *ducks*
Shaun Parent: rofl
Shaun Parent: No.
Shaun Parent: I'm not saying they're in a tight race.
Shaun Parent: But will be 3rd in the division this year.
Shaun Parent: And better than the Yankees.
Gentleman Jim: No way.
Shaun Parent: Way.
Gentleman Jim: I'll bet anything in the world.
Shaun Parent: Bet me your brown cherry.
Shaun Parent: The Rays? I don't think they repeat.
Shaun Parent: I hate to say it, but I'll go with Boston.
Shaun Parent: ...
Shaun Parent: Is this thing on?
Gentleman Jim: One of my roommates was a fan of two teams.
Shaun Parent: Flip-flopper.
Gentleman Jim: He claimed to be a Cubs fan and a Yankees fan.
Gentleman Jim: Now, I don't mind having a team in each league, as long as you know which one you like bestest.
Gentleman Jim: But there just seems to be something morally wrong with liking those two both.
Shaun Parent: Oh there is.
Shaun Parent: And you should've drowned him and buried him in the park.
Gentleman Jim: I think it goes Yanks, Sox, Rays
Coryhouser: The order?
Gentleman Jim: yeah
Shaun Parent: Yanks gonna choke again.
Coryhouser: So you're picking the Yankees?
Gentleman Jim: no
Gentleman Jim: lol
Coryhouser: Alllllllllright
Gentleman Jim: I hate them too much to pick them.
Gentleman Jim: I'd rather be wrong and pick someone else than pick them and be right
Coryhouser: ow
Gentleman Jim: Boston.
Coryhouser: Ooooookay
Coryhouser: Well, I'm picking the Rays
Coryhouser: They're hungry
Shaun Parent: Hungry for casserole?
Gentleman Jim: They're something
Coryhouser: Want to avenge themselves for the disappointing series against the Phillies fuck you
Coryhouser: I say they repeat

NL East preview

Gentleman Jim: NL East
Shaun Parent: I pick the Mets.
Gentleman Jim: Can we write off the Nats and the Marlins?
Shaun Parent: Nats yes.
Shaun Parent: Marlins?
Coryhouser: Marlins ehhhhhhhhhhhh
Shaun Parent: Well...
Coryhouser: Probably
Shaun Parent: I say no
Gentleman Jim: What do they have?
Shaun Parent: I say there's going to be a fierce battle between them and the Phillies for the 2nd horse in that division.
Gentleman Jim: You think they're better than the Braves?
Shaun Parent: They can be.
Gentleman Jim: Interesting.
Shaun Parent: Honestly, even with tonight's win, the Braves don't seem that scary to me.
Gentleman Jim: I kinda like the Braves offense, but not as much as the Mets or the Phils
Coryhouser: Agreed
Shaun Parent: The Mets will finally break the September curse this year and win the division.
Gentleman Jim: I think the Phils are gonna regret letting Pat Burrell go.
Coryhouser: Yeah, bad idea
Shaun Parent: Who'd they replace him with?
Gentleman Jim: Raul Ibanez
Gentleman Jim: Good young guy
Shaun Parent: Yeeeeeeeeeeah.
Shaun Parent: We'll find out.
Gentleman Jim: Ibanez was solid last year in Seattle.
Shaun Parent: Not hard to be the standout in Seattle when your teammates are sh*t.
Coryhouser: Minus Ichiro
Coryhouser: J.J. was good for them
Gentleman Jim: I want to take the Phils but I just can't
Coryhouser: Ibanez is batting 6th for them
Gentleman Jim: Ok.
Shaun Parent: I'm not impressed.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah, ok I regretfully take the Mets.
Shaun Parent: And Cory?
Coryhouser: You took the Mets, Shaun?
Shaun Parent: Yessir.
Coryhouser: As much as I hate the Phillies, I'm going to take them
Gentleman Jim: Oh ok
Coryhouser: ?
Gentleman Jim: I wanted to, but I just couldn't do it
Shaun Parent: Good man.
Coryhouser: J.J.'s washed up
Coryhouser: K-Rod always seemed to give up at least a hit or a walk when he would close with the Angles
Coryhouser: *Angels
Coryhouser: It's a good one-two punch
Coryhouser: If J.J. pitches in the 8th and K-Rod in the 9th
Gentleman Jim: yeah they'll be ok
Coryhouser: Eh
Gentleman Jim: Any other East comments?
Coryhouser: Nats suck
Coryhouser: move on
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: rofl
Gentleman Jim: lol
Shaun Parent: Yeah

Friday, April 10, 2009

NL Central preview

Gentleman Jim: um NL Central?
Shaun Parent: Cubs.
Gentleman Jim: Cubs.
Gentleman Jim: It's really just between Brewers, Cubs and Cards.
Shaun Parent: Yeah
Shaun Parent: When your team loses to a community college in Spring Training, that's never a good sign.
Gentleman Jim: lol
Gentleman Jim: Yeah
Shaun Parent: I'm looking at you, Pittsburgh.
Shaun Parent: I mean seriously.
Gentleman Jim: Cory's quiet because he's trying to talk himself into his Cardinals.
Shaun Parent: I know colleges play MLB teams once in a blue moon.
Shaun Parent: But COMMUNITY COLLEGES?
Shaun Parent: AND LOSING?
Shaun Parent: The Astros have no shot
Gentleman Jim: Just not enough of anything there.
Shaun Parent: And I pity anyone who plays for the Reds.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah, but they've got some good young talent.
Coryhouser: No, I'm waiting for you guys to dry your cum off your overrated Cubs
Shaun Parent: The Reds and the Pirates are going to have a good old-fashioned suck-off.
Gentleman Jim: Hey come on now.
Gentleman Jim: PG-13
Coryhouser: I agree with Shaun on that
Gentleman Jim: Yeah, its not gonna be pretty.
Shaun Parent: Cory's just pissed that Albert Pujols has yet to grace the cover of Manhole Weekly.
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: lol
Coryhouser: Shaun's issue with D. Lee in it is all wite-out now
Coryhouser: *cough*
Coryhouser: Well then
Gentleman Jim: Um what?
Shaun Parent: Wite-out?
Coryhouser: ........
Coryhouser: You guys seriously can't be that dense
Gentleman Jim: I just don't understand that sentence you just wrote.
Coryhouser: "Wite-out"
Coryhouser: The product
Coryhouser: Get it
Coryhouser: White liquid
Gentleman Jim: Struggle
Coryhouser: All over the page
Shaun Parent: Not only are Cardinals fans not funny, they have grammar skills a Special Olympics softball player would admire.
Gentleman Jim: lol
Coryhouser: WITE-OUT IS A PRODUCT YOU FAT PIG
Shaun Parent: HEY GO FUCK YOURSELF
Coryhouser: GO TO KFC AND ORDER ALL OF THEIR LEGS YOU PIECE OF SHIT
Gentleman Jim: Gentlemen.
Coryhouser: lmao
Shaun Parent: I WILL FUCK YOU.
Coryhouser: roflmao
Shaun Parent: ...UP.
Coryhouser: Okay fine
Coryhouser: Back on topic
Coryhouser: I can see the Cubs winning 100 games this season
Gentleman Jim: What do we think about the Brewers
Coryhouser: They are hungry
Coryhouser: CAN I TALK
Shaun Parent: I think the Brewers are my pick for the Wild Card.
Coryhouser: god
Gentleman Jim: Really?
Gentleman Jim: I'm not sure they have enough pitching.
Shaun Parent: Well yeah, that's the killer.
Shaun Parent: But the offense on that team gives me a hard on.
Shaun Parent: I'm not even kidding.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah gonna be a lot of 9-8 games.
Shaun Parent: Watching Prince Fielder devour a cheesy beef burrito as he rounds the bases.
Gentleman Jim: No he can't.
Gentleman Jim: He's a vegetarian now.
Shaun Parent: WHAT?!
Gentleman Jim: Swear to God
Shaun Parent: Then f*ck him. Brewers lose the Wild Card.
Coryhouser: Yeah, he can stand to lose a few 15 pounds now
Coryhouser: So maybe he won't be out of breath by the time he reaches 1st base on a ground ball
Shaun Parent: rofl
Coryhouser: LEG IT OUT PRINCE
Coryhouser: LEG IT OUT
Coryhouser: AH F*CK IT
Coryhouser: Just, jog
Coryhouser: yeah there ya go
Coryhouser: good boy
Shaun Parent: See, Cory. Only Mo Vaughn could hit a line drive down the first base line and get thrown out.
Coryhouser: lol
Coryhouser: Yes
Coryhouser: Uhh
Coryhouser: The Wild Card, I think
Coryhouser: Is going to be who finishes second in the NL Central again
Coryhouser: Definitely not 2nd in the NL West
Gentleman Jim: hmmm
Coryhouser: That's for damn sure
Shaun Parent: Yeah.
Coryhouser: Maybe the Mets/Phillies
Coryhouser: But with how the Braves played today
Gentleman Jim: Yeah
Coryhouser: I dunno
Coryhouser: They might be in the mix too
Coryhouser: And again
Coryhouser: The Astros
Gentleman Jim: NO
Coryhouser: "Hi, we'll suck the first 100 games"
Shaun Parent: rofl
Coryhouser: "But then actually START playing the last 62"
Coryhouser: It's happened the last 5 years now
Coryhouser: well 4
Coryhouser: 2004, 05, 06, 07, and in 08 too
Coryhouser: Somehow got 3rd
Gentleman Jim: Cory, pitch the case for the Cardinals.
Shaun Parent: This is where I'll file my fingernails.
Coryhouser: Even though I'm awarding third place to the Cardinals because the Astros didn't get to play one last game
Coryhouser: Pansies
Coryhouser: Uhh
Coryhouser: Well Shaun just listen
Gentleman Jim: The floor is yours.
Coryhouser: As most of you have read from my blog
Coryhouser: *Cough*
Shaun Parent: Sucks.
Coryhouser: What it's going to boil down to
Coryhouser: Is really 3 things:
Coryhouser: 1) Can Schumaker play 2nd base, or were we screwed from the beginning by not going after a second baseman?
Coryhouser: 2) Can our middle relief/closers not blow 32 saves, and umpteen more games this season when we have a decent sized lead?
Coryhouser: And 3)
Coryhouser: Can Pujols and Carpenter stay healthy enough this season to contribute their usual big numbers?
Coryhouser: If the answer to all 3 of those questions is yes
Coryhouser: I'd say the Cardinals have the Wild Card locked, and MIGHT
Coryhouser: MIGHT
Coryhouser: MIGHT
Coryhouser: Might contend for the Central title
Shaun Parent: See, I picked Carpenter up in my Fantasy Baseball draft.
Shaun Parent: So that jerk needs to do something.
Coryhouser: Thoughts, guys?
Coryhouser: Does that sum it up pretty well?
Gentleman Jim: Sure.
Shaun Parent: Sucks.
Coryhouser: Whatever
Shaun Parent: rofl
Gentleman Jim: I really want to start the Chris Carpenter argument again.
Coryhouser: Don't
Shaun Parent: Uh oh.
*** Coryhouser has left the chat.
Shaun Parent: oh wtf
Gentleman Jim: And there he goes.
*** Coryhouser has joined the chat.
Coryhouser: fafafafafafafafa
Shaun Parent: He got lagged.
Gentleman Jim: Or his casserole is done.
Shaun Parent: rofl
Gentleman Jim: Ok the Cardinals.
Gentleman Jim: I think its gonna hurt you not keeping Aaron Miles
Shaun Parent: Who is now a Cub.
Gentleman Jim: Inconsequential.
Gentleman Jim: But still.
Gentleman Jim: And I don't know about your bullpen.
Coryhouser: Ok
Shaun Parent: Who's the closer now?
Coryhouser: Motte
Gentleman Jim: Motte
Coryhouser: Jason Motte
Coryhouser: Almost unhittable Pre-season
Shaun Parent: Isringhausen got the boot, right?
Coryhouser: I think it's a good choice
Coryhouser: Yes
Coryhouser: He's with
Coryhouser: The
Coryhouser: Uhh
Shaun Parent: He's pitching for...?
Gentleman Jim: preseason means nothing
Coryhouser: .....
Shaun Parent: Blue Jays?
Gentleman Jim: Blue Jays
Gentleman Jim: (I'm guessing)
Shaun Parent: Yeah, have fun in Canada.
Coryhouser: Whatever Jim
Shaun Parent: Where they don't give two sh*ts about baseball.
Gentleman Jim: Presseason doesn't mean much.
Coryhouser: Whatever you say
Gentleman Jim: Ok then.
Coryhouser: Why have it then
Coryhouser: If it doesn't mean anything
Coryhouser: Why not have them jerk around at their own stadium
Gentleman Jim: It's warmup.
Coryhouser: Uh huh
Shaun Parent: Why have NFL, NHL, NBA preseason?
Gentleman Jim: It's nothing real.
Shaun Parent: SKO
Coryhouser: Alright then
Coryhouser: I'm not going to get into this
Gentleman Jim: Fine, another day.
Shaun Parent: Indeed.

AL Central preview

Gentleman Jim: AL Central.
Coryhouser: AL Central, Shaun?
Shaun Parent: Uh.
Shaun Parent: Well, the Twins aren't starting off the season well.
Shaun Parent: Two big guys hurt.
Shaun Parent: Mauer and Morneau.
Shaun Parent: That's HUGE. Especially at the start of the season.
Shaun Parent: The Twins can ill-afford these guys to be out for a chunk of time.
Gentleman Jim: And Scott Baker too.
Shaun Parent: Whereas the White Sox have lost a bit on their end, too.
Shaun Parent: However, the one team who made the epic snag this offseason?
Shaun Parent: The Indians.
Gentleman Jim: Mark DeRosa?
Shaun Parent: Mark DeRosa is going to be money for these guys.
Gentleman Jim: Oh, you were serious.
Shaun Parent: Absolutely.
Gentleman Jim: I fuckin hate Mark DeRosa.
Shaun Parent: You know what DeRosa can do.
Gentleman Jim: Suck.
Shaun Parent: Now wait a minute.
Coryhouser: lmao
Shaun Parent: You'd pick Miles over DeRosa?
Coryhouser: Duh
Coryhouser: Miles bats a consistent .300
Coryhouser: And is a good glove
Gentleman Jim: I'd pick Fontenot over DeRosa
Shaun Parent: Really?
Gentleman Jim: Youth and upside.
Gentleman Jim: I like Fontenot.
Shaun Parent: As do I.
Shaun Parent: But I liked DeRosa, too.
Gentleman Jim: I really never liked DeRosa.
Shaun Parent: A dumb move by the Cubs for trading him.
Gentleman Jim: Who did we get back?
Shaun Parent: Pitchers.
Gentleman Jim: Bleh
Shaun Parent: And the Royals?
Shaun Parent: Don't make me laugh.
Gentleman Jim: You know what?
Gentleman Jim: I think the Royals are gonna be frisky this year.
Coryhouser: As do I
Gentleman Jim: Good pitching staff
Coryhouser: And
Coryhouser: And
Coryhouser: Coco Crisp
Coryhouser: The best name EVER
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: Milton Bradley?
Coryhouser: dork
Gentleman Jim: I like Dick Ankiel better.
Shaun Parent: C'mon, dude's named for BOARD GAMES.
Coryhouser: SHUT UP
Gentleman Jim: Did you ever see that Shaun?
Shaun Parent: I don't think I have.
Gentleman Jim: Mr. Ankiel is reportedly thinking about changing his name from Rick to Dick.
Shaun Parent: He's the man.
Gentleman Jim: Creating the best porn name in baseball.
Shaun Parent: Let him do it.
Gentleman Jim: Here's the Royals real quick.
Shaun Parent: What, is he going to be in Big Bat Bonanza #7 with Lexington Steele?
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: lol
Gentleman Jim: The Royals
Gentleman Jim: Greinke, Meche, Juan Cruz (former Cub), Horacio Ramirez
Gentleman Jim: Joakim Soria, really good last year
Shaun Parent: Sh*t, sh*t, sucks and sh*t.
Gentleman Jim: Greinke?
Shaun Parent: Not impressed.
Shaun Parent: Put him over all you want, not impressed.
Coryhouser: Don't forget they picked up a big ace from the Cardinals:
Coryhouser: Sidney Ponson
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: OH MAN LOOKOUT
Coryhouser: Yep
Coryhouser: Look out everyone
Coryhouser: Here come the Roy.....als.....
Gentleman Jim: Not on the team anymore
Coryhouser: What???
Gentleman Jim: He's not on the Royals.
Coryhouser: Ah
Coryhouser: That must have happened lately
Coryhouser: Never mind then
Gentleman Jim: I'm just saying they got a lot of young talent, and some veterans
Coryhouser: Yes
Gentleman Jim: Um, Tigers?
Coryhouser: Noop
Shaun Parent: Sucks.
Coryhouser: Had their chance, blew it
Shaun Parent: What's up with Dontrelle Willis?
Gentleman Jim: Anxiety attacks.
Shaun Parent: Lies.
Gentleman Jim: Really.
Gentleman Jim: He went on the DL with anxiety issues.
Shaun Parent: Other than the anxiety on putting on a Tigers uniform, that's all I'm going to give him credit for.
Shaun Parent: Otherwise, man the f*ck up and throw some heat.
Gentleman Jim: There are rumors of Miguel Cabrera getting traded.
Shaun Parent: To who?
Coryhouser: uh huh
Gentleman Jim: Right now, the rumor is if they suck early, he could go to the Red Sox
Coryhouser: Great
Shaun Parent: Do they REALLY need him?
Shaun Parent: I mean, seriously.
Coryhouser: No, they don't
Gentleman Jim: Would you rather have him or Mike Lowell?
Shaun Parent: Lowell has a mustache I would lick soup out of.
Gentleman Jim: If they got him, Youk would go to 3rd, and Lowell would go to the bench.
Shaun Parent: That's a man's mustache there.
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: Um, White Sux?
Coryhouser: I heard that Lowells' mustache is playing short stop
Shaun Parent: rofl
Shaun Parent: White Sox? No.
Coryhouser: Their average age on that team is 62
Coryhouser: Jesus
Shaun Parent: AARP is buying ad space in center field.
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: lol
Coryhouser: Which really boils it down to two:
Coryhouser: The Indians and the Twinnies
Shaun Parent: I take the Indians.
Gentleman Jim: Twins.
Coryhouser: Twins here
Gentleman Jim: I don't know why.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Nick Adenhart: 1986-2009

We here at The Daily Balk would like to send our condolences to the family of Nick Adenhart and the Los Angeles Angels fanbase today. Pitcher Nick Adenhart was killed in an automobile accident earlier this morning.

Adenhart was a top Angels prospect, pitching only in his fourth Major League start just last night against the Oakland Athletics. He was 22 years old.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

2009 Season Previews

These were done Sunday evening between the three of us. We sat down to break down each of the divisions and talk about which teams we liked and disliked. It was a lot of fun having the three of us sit down and talk baseball. Tonight we have the AL and NL West previews below here, followed by the AL and NL Central tomorrow morning, and AL and NL East previews tomorrow evening. Enjoy.

NL West Preview

Gentleman Jim: Ok where should we start?
Coryhouser: So who should start
Shaun Parent: rofl
Shaun Parent: Madness, I say.
Gentleman Jim: Chaos.
Shaun Parent: Well, let's start off easy.
Shaun Parent: The NL West.
Coryhouser: LOL
Gentleman Jim: NL West it is.
Coryhouser: I'm picking the Rockies
Coryhouser: (joke)
Shaun Parent: You're hungover, it's a good start.
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: Yeah, I'm going a little slower today.
Shaun Parent: Look, let's look at the NL West teams today.
Shaun Parent: None of them strike fear in me.
Coryhouser: The Padres damn it
Shaun Parent: The Padres?
Coryhouser: The Padres have what
Coryhouser: Uhh
Shaun Parent: Jack sh*t.
Coryhouser: Oh yeah, that's it
Gentleman Jim: This is where preparation steps in Cory.
Coryhouser: Yeah I know
Shaun Parent: Look, the Dodgers are going to win the NL West.
Shaun Parent: Simple.
Coryhouser: Sorry I was up late writing a BLOG THAT ONLY I DID
Gentleman Jim: I agree.
Shaun Parent: AND
Shaun Parent: Bold prediction here.
Coryhouser: STILL WAITING ON THE CUBS BLOG JIM
Coryhouser: NEVER GOT IT
Gentleman Jim: Bitch.
Shaun Parent: They will be no more than 15 games over .500
Gentleman Jim: I told you it'd be up today.
Coryhouser: I disagree with that
Shaun Parent: How so, CoHo?
Coryhouser: I think the DOdgers will go 92 - 70
Coryhouser: At least 90 wins
Shaun Parent: Well, I'd be willing to agree.
Shaun Parent: BUT
Shaun Parent: There's one certain dreadlocked freak that will be a habitual DL offender this year.
Gentleman Jim: Really?
Coryhouser: Manny's not going to be on the DL
Coryhouser: Shit, I should have joked right there
Coryhouser: Fuck
Shaun Parent: Well, look at his track record for spring training thus far.
Coryhouser: Here it is:
Shaun Parent: He's been nursing some bullsh*t injury.
Coryhouser: Now wait
Coryhouser: I think it's just a lame excuse for "Blah I don't need Spring Training"
Coryhouser: He'll be fine on Monday
Coryhouser: Watch
Coryhouser: here's his Spring Training track record:
Coryhouser: "Waaah more money......."
Coryhouser: Week later
Coryhouser: "Waaaaaaaaaah reject that offer......"
Coryhouser: Another week
Shaun Parent: rofl
Coryhouser: "Oh, okay $2000 Million a year is good"
Coryhouser: Next week:
Coryhouser: "Oh, my toe is sore, you guys do your thing while I watch Bob Marley and stroke my dreadlocks to his beat"
Shaun Parent: Just don't be shocked if you see him hit the 15-day DL at LEAST twice this season.
Coryhouser: Eh, okay
Coryhouser: And I have to poop, so we'll be back after this!
Shaun Parent: rofl
Shaun Parent: And uh
Shaun Parent: Hi.
Shaun Parent: I'm here.
Shaun Parent: Got my bidness done beforehand
Shaun Parent: Unlike these two f*ckwits.
Gentleman Jim: lol
Shaun Parent: God.
Shaun Parent: Do a power shit, CoHo.
Gentleman Jim: I think he could go on the DL but I think he'll still be good old Manny.
Shaun Parent: What, a clubhouse cancer in hiding?
Coryhouser: Sorry
Shaun Parent: Because we know what's going to happen.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah, maybe.
Coryhouser: Let's hurry
Coryhouser: I have to work at 1
Shaun Parent: WELL CHRIST CORY
Shaun Parent: IF YOU DIDN'T SPEND 50 MINUTES SHITTING
Coryhouser: WELL IF SOMEONE HAD WOKEN UP FUCKIN 2 HOURS AGO
Gentleman Jim: Ok well hell we'll do as much as we can before he works, and then we'll do the rest later.
Shaun Parent: k
Shaun Parent: Let's get the NL done first, I suppose.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah
Gentleman Jim: Back to the NL West.
Gentleman Jim: I like the Dodgers.
Shaun Parent: Ditto.
Coryhouser: I wouldn't be surprised if the Giants finished in 2nd
Gentleman Jim: Mainly because I don't like anyone else.
Shaun Parent: Yeah.
Gentleman Jim: The Giants could be a Dark Horse (TM)
Coryhouser: yes
Shaun Parent: Oh yeah.
Coryhouser: Great pitching
Shaun Parent: Mediocre pitching.
Shaun Parent: Yeah, great. You added Randy Johnson to your lineup.
Shaun Parent: Same effect could be made if you signed the Cryptkeeper to a one-year deal.
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: But he'll be the Randy of now.
Shaun Parent: He'll be 11-10 with a 5 ERA.
Gentleman Jim: Ok starters for them
Gentleman Jim: Lincecum, Cain, Johnson, Sanchez, and either Noah Lowry or Barry Zito
Shaun Parent: Lincecum, by default, is the ace of that squad.
Shaun Parent: Don't get me wrong, I think he's going to have a great year.
Shaun Parent: At least 15 wins.
Coryhouser: Well don't forget, guys
Coryhouser: The Giants have Keenan Ivory Molina
Shaun Parent: rofl
Coryhouser: batting clean-up
Shaun Parent: Yeah.
Coryhouser: So anything can happen
Shaun Parent: How old is he now?
Shaun Parent: Older than dirt, younger than Stonehenge?
Gentleman Jim: What who?
Gentleman Jim: Bengie
Shaun Parent: Yeah.
Coryhouser: Yes
Gentleman Jim: Molina is 34
Coryhouser: Giants were the only team in the NL to have fewer than 100 home runs in the season
Gentleman Jim: and Randy Johnson is 45
Shaun Parent: Christ.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah.
Shaun Parent: Randy Johnson, we get you love the game.
Shaun Parent: But it's time to retire, dude.
Gentleman Jim: Go away.
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: Like I said, wasted money on him.
Gentleman Jim: Last year, 11-10, 3.91 ERA, 1.24 WHIP
Shaun Parent: And he'll be the same record.
Coryhouser: He looks like a fucked up and really skinny version of Jeff Foxworthy
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: And taller
Gentleman Jim: Much taller
Coryhouser: That too
Shaun Parent: Except intentionally funnier.
Gentleman Jim: 6-10
Coryhouser: rofl
Gentleman Jim: Ok so Dodgers?
Coryhouser: Still the same greasy 'stache too
Coryhouser: Yes
Coryhouser: Hands down
Shaun Parent: Division winner.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah
Shaun Parent: But won't be more than 15 games over .500
Shaun Parent: Sure, the offense is there.
Shaun Parent: But what about the pitching?
Coryhouser: Their rotation:
Coryhouser: Kuroda, Wolf, Billingsley, Kershaw, McDonald
Coryhouser: Alternating Rightie, Leftie
Coryhouser: And they don't even have a reliable closer
Shaun Parent: And I haven't seen any of those motherf*ckers on a Top 5 sheet.
Coryhouser: (Broxton)
Gentleman Jim: Wait a second.
Shaun Parent: Damnit.
Coryhouser: What Jim
Gentleman Jim: Isn't Billingsley starting tomorrow?
Coryhouser: Doesn't say
Gentleman Jim: Kuroda's starting
Coryhouser: Yes
Gentleman Jim: Where are you looking for these?
Coryhouser: Kuroda is starting, yes
Coryhouser: Against Peavey
Coryhouser: Peavy**********
Shaun Parent: I'm on MLB.com
Coryhouser: I'm on Yahoo
Shaun Parent: Dodgers site.
Gentleman Jim: and I'm on ESPN
Gentleman Jim: Great.
Shaun Parent: I smell a sitcom.
Gentleman Jim: Ok anything else or shall we move on?
Shaun Parent: I want a Dodger Dog.

AL West Preview

Gentleman Jim: Ok AL West
Shaun Parent: This is a toughie.
Coryhouser: Yeah
Coryhouser: Angels didn't resign Teixeira
Coryhouser: Bad move on their part, I think
Shaun Parent: DUMB.
Gentleman Jim: Couldn't afford him.
Coryhouser: Still
Coryhouser: Dumb
Coryhouser: A's have Matt Holliday
Coryhouser: That's a big boost for them
Gentleman Jim: I kinda like Texas
Coryhouser: I don't
Shaun Parent: And they got Jason Giambi. Which is a big boost in putting needles in other dude's asses.
Coryhouser: Uhh
Shaun Parent: Yeah uh.
Shaun Parent: Shit.
Coryhouser: I really don't like Texas
Shaun Parent: Dare I say that perhaps Oakland wins the division?
Gentleman Jim: I like their offense.
Coryhouser: I think the A's have a good choice
Coryhouser: chance****************
Gentleman Jim: Their closer is hurt
Shaun Parent: I can't see Texas winning.
Shaun Parent: I can't.
Gentleman Jim: I don't think they'll win either.
Gentleman Jim: I just like their offense.
Shaun Parent: Angels took too many big hits.
Shaun Parent: And Seattle? Please.
Coryhouser: HEY
Coryhouser: HEY
Coryhouser: They got Griffey back
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: Yeah.
Gentleman Jim: To sell tickets.
Coryhouser: Oh wait
Coryhouser: Guys
Coryhouser: This just in:
Shaun Parent: That's like the Red Wings signing Gordie Howe to be a enforcer.
Coryhouser: Griffey dropped a bucket of paint on his toe painting his living room tonight, he's out for two months
Coryhouser: Man
Gentleman Jim: Shut up.
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: rofl
Gentleman Jim: Ok.
Gentleman Jim: I would have believed it though.
Shaun Parent: Or he could've pulled a Sosa.
Shaun Parent: Sneezed his back out.
Coryhouser: Hey Jim if you say "Pizza" 3 times fast it sounds like Gullible
Shaun Parent: rofl
Coryhouser: So who are you picking
Coryhouser: Shaun or Jim
Coryhouser: Doesn't matter
Shaun Parent: Oakland.
Coryhouser: Jim?
Gentleman Jim: Anaheim
Coryhouser: I am picking the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Gentleman Jim: Of California
Gentleman Jim: Of the USA
Gentleman Jim: Of North America

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Is This Next Year?

I sure hope so because I'm getting tired of crapping the bed in the playoffs.

Last year we came into the playoffs riding high with the most wins in a season since 1945. We had every right to believe that our Cubbies were in for a big showing; the eight times in history that the Cubs had more wins, they made it to the World Series 7 of those times. I like those odds. We all liked those odds. There was just too much going for us to fail, right?

And then we crapped the bed. Again.

This year we come in with basically the same team with a few additions and just as high expectations. The team adds a couple of right handed pitchers, Aaron Heilman from the Mariners and newly-anointed closer Kevin Gregg who we swiped away from the Marlins. The biggest addition is Milton Bradley moving into right field, displacing Fukudome in the outfield. Let's take a little deeper look at the 2009 team.

Infield: The infield is the same for the most part this year. Geovany Soto comes off his rookie of the year campaign looking to hold off any sophomore slump. Mike Fontenot joins his fellow LSU alum Ryan Theriot in the starting lineup, moving into the second base slot. Fontenot and Theriot were both .300 hitters last year and we're looking for more of the same from them this year. Lee and Ramirez at the corners gives you about 50 HR and 200 RBI combined, much needed power numbers in this lineup. Micah Hoffpauir and Aaron Miles will be important pieces of the bench as well.

Outfield: We have two starters set with Soriano in left and Bradley in right. Centerfield, however, is somewhat garbled. Reed Johnson and Kosuke Fukudome will seemingly be platooning based on opposing starters at the beginning of the year. Speedster Joey Gathright makes the short drive northeast from Kansas City to make the picture a little more murky. We'll just have to wait to see who comes out of the pack.

Starters: Our top four are the same as last year, with Big Z getting the start Monday night. We need a full year out of Rich Harden which could be a stretch as injury prone as he's been. Sean Marshall won the fifth starter job, keeping Aaron Heilman in long relief. Samardzija was expected to make a contribution, but he'll begin the season in the minors.

Bullpen: Kevin Gregg and Carlos Marmol were in the running for the closer job this year after Kerry Wood left town for Cleveland. Gregg came out spring training with the job, putting Marmol back in the setup job. He did a good job last year in the setup role, with a 2.68 ERA in 82 appearances and even 7 saves.

I don't think I have to say that I think we have a great chance this year to win it all. But that's how it is every year, hopefully we can go all the way.

Intro to an 11th World Championship Season

That's right, I said it.

It's like a 200-to-1 shot, but I'm taking it.

Before I get to the Cardinals season preview, I will tell a little bit about myself.

My name is Cory Houser and I am currently attending the University of Northern Iowa for a degree in Electronic Media (Broadcasting) with a minor in Journalism. I have a beautiful girlfriend named Ashley, who is also going to UNI in the same fields as I am in. I will graduate in May, she will graduate in May of 2010. For my major, I'm the host of a "hit" on-campus game show entitled "Panther Shout Out," which is basically a variation on the board game "Outburst." It's fun, and it's on YouTube, so check it out. I am also employed at a major Midwest grocery chain called Hy-Vee. I work in the meat department and work pretty much full-time hours for a part-time pay. Yippie-fucking-skippy.

I am a diehard St. Louis Cardinals fan, a Chicago Bulls fan, and a Dallas Cowboys fan.

Speaking of the Cardinals......

Let's get to a preview of their upcoming season.

Somehow, Tony LaRussa (THE BASEBALL GENIUS, :-P) and company managed to finish 10 games above .500 last season with their somewhat shoddy line-up of wannabe pitchers and a surprising season out of Ryan Ludwick, and a not-so-out-of-the-ordinary MVP Caliber season out of the best hitter in the major leagues, Albert Pujols. It wasn't really so much the starting pitching (Lohse was outstanding, and so was Wainy while he was healthy...Looper didn't really pitch like I thought he would, only finishing at .500 [12-12 iirc])...it was the middle relief that kicked our ass. We would have won 10-15 more games had we not blown leads because of pitching. Not only that, our relief had a total of 31 blown saves. THIRTY one.

This year, however, is a different story.

Here is our current starting rotation...note that they are all right-handed:::

1. RHP Adam Wainwright
2. RHP Kyle Lohse
3. RHP Todd Wellemeyer
4. RHP Chris Carpenter
5. RHP Joel Pineiro

It looks pretty solid. If Carpenter can stay healthy, I think this line-up looks really good. Wainwright started 20 games last year and went 12 - 3. Lohse had a great stretch and might have won a Cy Young had he won some games down the stretch. He finished 15 - 6 with a 3.78 ERA. Wellemeyer went 13 - 9 for us and had a 3.71 ERA. Pineiro had a sub-par year, only went 7 - 7 with an ERA over 5 in 25 games he started.

And of course, we really didn't pick up any pitchers in the off-season. We love to not be aggressive and just say, "Eh, this'll work" when the pre-season starts up in March. Now see, this was fine when we had Edmonds, Eckstein and Rolen to help out Pujols. But now we have Schumaker at SECOND BASE (!?!?!?!?!?!). Argh. I'll get to our fielders here in a bit. Now onto our bullpen:

RHP Jason Motte (closer)
RHP Ryan Franklin
RHP Josh Kinney
RHP Kyle McClellan
RHP Brad Thompson
LHP Dennys Reyes
LHP Trever Miller

Motte looked pretty sharp pre-season, hopefully he can bring some of that momentum with him in the regular season. Hopefully we won't have to see him until after the Pirates series is over (if a fucking community college can beat the Pirates, we can fucking beat them). Only two lefties, argh. Again, from the looks of it, we seem to be better than last season, but it's early.

Okay, here's our tentative starting line-up:

1. 2B Skip Schumaker
2. CF Rick Ankiel
3. 1B Albert Pujols
4. LF Chris Duncan
5. RF Ryan Ludwick
6. SS Khalil Greene
7. C Yadier Molina
8. 3B David Freese
9. Pitcher

Yeah, that's right, it says PITCHER in the NINTH spot. Goooooooo Drunkie.

Freese has the third base position for now while Glaus gets better. Which sucks, because Glaus was the leading fielder at his position in ALL of Major League Baseball last season. Wow. And he was good with the bat, too. We'll be hopefully getting him back early June. I hope so.

Now, onto my rant.

Mother fucking.....why didn't we go after a second baseman? Seriously? Or re-sign Aaron Miles, who batted over .300 last year? What the fuck?? No, let's convert ol' Skippy. And I love this quote from LaRusa: "We're looking for Schumaker just to be average at the position." Yeah, just 'Average' wins championships. *sigh* I have a bad feeling we're going to quickly regret this. He's a really good lead-off hitter, I'll give him that. And a decent outfielder. But a converted second baseman last second? Thaaaaaat'll take some time.

Khalil Greene is going to have a coming out season....he batted ove .400 in the pre-season...I'm excited. Our line-up goes pretty deep...I like Ludwick in the 5th spot with Duncan 4th...Duncan looks like he'll be as good as he was in '07. Pujols will be as good as always...maybe a couple more dingers this year...??? We'll see. Ankiel batting second is really good, too. Schumaker-Ankiel-Pujols. Love it.

I won't get to our bench, because, well, I'm tired and I just really don't care right now, lol. But here's my prediction for our season ending record:

90 - 72.

I think we have a decent shot at the wild card, if not the division. Our interleague schedule seems pretty easy, and we only play the Cubs 15 times again this year (more at home than at Wrigley). I think we play the Pirates a good number of times...which is a big plus.

Well then, I think that'll do it for now...I'll post something, eh, tomorrow. Good night everyone, I hope you enjoy reading these. This will be a great season! Welcome back, baseball!

-Cory

An Introduction

Hello everyone!

My name is Shaun Parent. I live in Valparaiso, IN and currenty go to college for Communications, primarily journalism. I was invited to contribute here along with Jim and my "friend" Cory. I use that term loosely for the fact that he is a filthy, rotten Cardinals fan. If you guessed, I am indeed a Chicago Cubs fan.

Last year? One of the worst ways to finish a season. An embarrassment. For a team given such high expectations in the playoffs, the ending to it all was just too rough. I remember being livid on how poorly they played against the Dodgers for about the next week. It was a terrible feeling.

So, here we are now. I write this on the eve of the 2009 MLB season. I'm pumped, I'm excited, I'm ready to do it all over again for the next few months. Get the hot dogs on the grill, pop the popcorn and put mayo on the pizza! Sit me down in front of the television (or in cases where I'm working, near a radio or a cell phone) and let me watch America's Past-time in all its splendor.

I'll be writing about whatever comes to mind during this season. Whether it be the rules, off-field shenanigans, crybaby players or whatever comes around baseball related: Expect me to get my digs and points in.

Also, since I'm an avid gamer, I'll be keeping you cyberathletes up to date with my reviews and comments on MLB video games throughout the season. In fact, I'm playing Major League Baseball 2K9 right now for the Xbox 360. I'll be giving you folks a review later on.

Other than that, I hope you readers will enjoy the content with this new blog. We're certainly looking to add that little something that you don't get with other blogs. Hell, I'd be flattered to get some hate mail every once in a while! Well, not really...

I look forward to writing and entertaining all you readers this season!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Welcome

I've had this idea in my head for a while to attempt to join the world of sports blogging after many other reading and being a big fan of many other sports blogs. Blogs like Fire Joe Morgan (RIP), Deadspin, and Awful Announcing have been a big part of my daily reading regiment for quite some time now. I love thinking and talking sports with all my friends, and like nothing more than a good debate.

I've always wanted to do a baseball blog to have some fun with and to get myself and some friends of mine out there. These friends of mine are some of the funniest and best writers I know. I've been a Cubs fan for my whole life, and while I may still be young, it still hurts missing golden chances both last year and the Bartman year.

At the beginning of this, my friend Cory will be writing here too. He's a Cardinals fan and we've known each other for many years. Somehow we still get along, despite him thinking Chris Carpenter is a better pitcher than Carlo Zambrano. (You're wrong, Cory.) We'll be adding writers in the coming weeks, all bringing different looks at the world of baseball.

We will have Cubs and Cardinals previews up before tomorrow night's game begins. Like the name implies, we're going to try to post something everyday, but it might be slow in the outgoing. We are looking for someone to write a West Coast point of view maybe so if any of the literally zeroes of fans are interested, send me an email and we'll talk.

Baseball season starts tomorrow night with Braves and Phillies. Almost every other team is in action on Monday. Enjoy it.