NL West Preview

Gentleman Jim: Ok where should we start?
Coryhouser: So who should start
Shaun Parent: rofl
Shaun Parent: Madness, I say.
Gentleman Jim: Chaos.
Shaun Parent: Well, let's start off easy.
Shaun Parent: The NL West.
Coryhouser: LOL
Gentleman Jim: NL West it is.
Coryhouser: I'm picking the Rockies
Coryhouser: (joke)
Shaun Parent: You're hungover, it's a good start.
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: Yeah, I'm going a little slower today.
Shaun Parent: Look, let's look at the NL West teams today.
Shaun Parent: None of them strike fear in me.
Coryhouser: The Padres damn it
Shaun Parent: The Padres?
Coryhouser: The Padres have what
Coryhouser: Uhh
Shaun Parent: Jack sh*t.
Coryhouser: Oh yeah, that's it
Gentleman Jim: This is where preparation steps in Cory.
Coryhouser: Yeah I know
Shaun Parent: Look, the Dodgers are going to win the NL West.
Shaun Parent: Simple.
Coryhouser: Sorry I was up late writing a BLOG THAT ONLY I DID
Gentleman Jim: I agree.
Shaun Parent: AND
Shaun Parent: Bold prediction here.
Coryhouser: STILL WAITING ON THE CUBS BLOG JIM
Coryhouser: NEVER GOT IT
Gentleman Jim: Bitch.
Shaun Parent: They will be no more than 15 games over .500
Gentleman Jim: I told you it'd be up today.
Coryhouser: I disagree with that
Shaun Parent: How so, CoHo?
Coryhouser: I think the DOdgers will go 92 - 70
Coryhouser: At least 90 wins
Shaun Parent: Well, I'd be willing to agree.
Shaun Parent: BUT
Shaun Parent: There's one certain dreadlocked freak that will be a habitual DL offender this year.
Gentleman Jim: Really?
Coryhouser: Manny's not going to be on the DL
Coryhouser: Shit, I should have joked right there
Coryhouser: Fuck
Shaun Parent: Well, look at his track record for spring training thus far.
Coryhouser: Here it is:
Shaun Parent: He's been nursing some bullsh*t injury.
Coryhouser: Now wait
Coryhouser: I think it's just a lame excuse for "Blah I don't need Spring Training"
Coryhouser: He'll be fine on Monday
Coryhouser: Watch
Coryhouser: here's his Spring Training track record:
Coryhouser: "Waaah more money......."
Coryhouser: Week later
Coryhouser: "Waaaaaaaaaah reject that offer......"
Coryhouser: Another week
Shaun Parent: rofl
Coryhouser: "Oh, okay $2000 Million a year is good"
Coryhouser: Next week:
Coryhouser: "Oh, my toe is sore, you guys do your thing while I watch Bob Marley and stroke my dreadlocks to his beat"
Shaun Parent: Just don't be shocked if you see him hit the 15-day DL at LEAST twice this season.
Coryhouser: Eh, okay
Coryhouser: And I have to poop, so we'll be back after this!
Shaun Parent: rofl
Shaun Parent: And uh
Shaun Parent: Hi.
Shaun Parent: I'm here.
Shaun Parent: Got my bidness done beforehand
Shaun Parent: Unlike these two f*ckwits.
Gentleman Jim: lol
Shaun Parent: God.
Shaun Parent: Do a power shit, CoHo.
Gentleman Jim: I think he could go on the DL but I think he'll still be good old Manny.
Shaun Parent: What, a clubhouse cancer in hiding?
Coryhouser: Sorry
Shaun Parent: Because we know what's going to happen.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah, maybe.
Coryhouser: Let's hurry
Coryhouser: I have to work at 1
Shaun Parent: WELL CHRIST CORY
Shaun Parent: IF YOU DIDN'T SPEND 50 MINUTES SHITTING
Coryhouser: WELL IF SOMEONE HAD WOKEN UP FUCKIN 2 HOURS AGO
Gentleman Jim: Ok well hell we'll do as much as we can before he works, and then we'll do the rest later.
Shaun Parent: k
Shaun Parent: Let's get the NL done first, I suppose.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah
Gentleman Jim: Back to the NL West.
Gentleman Jim: I like the Dodgers.
Shaun Parent: Ditto.
Coryhouser: I wouldn't be surprised if the Giants finished in 2nd
Gentleman Jim: Mainly because I don't like anyone else.
Shaun Parent: Yeah.
Gentleman Jim: The Giants could be a Dark Horse (TM)
Coryhouser: yes
Shaun Parent: Oh yeah.
Coryhouser: Great pitching
Shaun Parent: Mediocre pitching.
Shaun Parent: Yeah, great. You added Randy Johnson to your lineup.
Shaun Parent: Same effect could be made if you signed the Cryptkeeper to a one-year deal.
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: But he'll be the Randy of now.
Shaun Parent: He'll be 11-10 with a 5 ERA.
Gentleman Jim: Ok starters for them
Gentleman Jim: Lincecum, Cain, Johnson, Sanchez, and either Noah Lowry or Barry Zito
Shaun Parent: Lincecum, by default, is the ace of that squad.
Shaun Parent: Don't get me wrong, I think he's going to have a great year.
Shaun Parent: At least 15 wins.
Coryhouser: Well don't forget, guys
Coryhouser: The Giants have Keenan Ivory Molina
Shaun Parent: rofl
Coryhouser: batting clean-up
Shaun Parent: Yeah.
Coryhouser: So anything can happen
Shaun Parent: How old is he now?
Shaun Parent: Older than dirt, younger than Stonehenge?
Gentleman Jim: What who?
Gentleman Jim: Bengie
Shaun Parent: Yeah.
Coryhouser: Yes
Gentleman Jim: Molina is 34
Coryhouser: Giants were the only team in the NL to have fewer than 100 home runs in the season
Gentleman Jim: and Randy Johnson is 45
Shaun Parent: Christ.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah.
Shaun Parent: Randy Johnson, we get you love the game.
Shaun Parent: But it's time to retire, dude.
Gentleman Jim: Go away.
Coryhouser: lol
Shaun Parent: Like I said, wasted money on him.
Gentleman Jim: Last year, 11-10, 3.91 ERA, 1.24 WHIP
Shaun Parent: And he'll be the same record.
Coryhouser: He looks like a fucked up and really skinny version of Jeff Foxworthy
Coryhouser: lol
Gentleman Jim: And taller
Gentleman Jim: Much taller
Coryhouser: That too
Shaun Parent: Except intentionally funnier.
Gentleman Jim: 6-10
Coryhouser: rofl
Gentleman Jim: Ok so Dodgers?
Coryhouser: Still the same greasy 'stache too
Coryhouser: Yes
Coryhouser: Hands down
Shaun Parent: Division winner.
Gentleman Jim: Yeah
Shaun Parent: But won't be more than 15 games over .500
Shaun Parent: Sure, the offense is there.
Shaun Parent: But what about the pitching?
Coryhouser: Their rotation:
Coryhouser: Kuroda, Wolf, Billingsley, Kershaw, McDonald
Coryhouser: Alternating Rightie, Leftie
Coryhouser: And they don't even have a reliable closer
Shaun Parent: And I haven't seen any of those motherf*ckers on a Top 5 sheet.
Coryhouser: (Broxton)
Gentleman Jim: Wait a second.
Shaun Parent: Damnit.
Coryhouser: What Jim
Gentleman Jim: Isn't Billingsley starting tomorrow?
Coryhouser: Doesn't say
Gentleman Jim: Kuroda's starting
Coryhouser: Yes
Gentleman Jim: Where are you looking for these?
Coryhouser: Kuroda is starting, yes
Coryhouser: Against Peavey
Coryhouser: Peavy**********
Shaun Parent: I'm on MLB.com
Coryhouser: I'm on Yahoo
Shaun Parent: Dodgers site.
Gentleman Jim: and I'm on ESPN
Gentleman Jim: Great.
Shaun Parent: I smell a sitcom.
Gentleman Jim: Ok anything else or shall we move on?
Shaun Parent: I want a Dodger Dog.